The days really seem to go by so fast here for some reason. We actually left the apartment today. We were headed for the market that we keep hearing about that is fairly close to where we are staying. The ‘market’ is a place that is rows and rows and rows of tent like stores that sell the most random things. There are toiletries, shoes, clothes, jewelry, meat, tools, sinks, fruit, eggs, doors, windows, candies, basically if you are going to want to buy something- this is the place to look for it. We were looking for treats to take Vika, a shower puff, and duct tape. We found 2 of 3. I just don’t think they have ducts to have duct tape. There was a lot of packaging tape and that may have to work for us. Here are some pictures of some interesting things we pass on our walk to the market.
Walking through the meat area was such a gross experience. The cutting boards were big tree stumps they had rolled in. So dang unsanitary! There was just meat lying out to select and they were busily chopping up more. The pig parts – oh man, I did not do well in that area. I bought some embroidery floss to take to tie bracelets with Vika. As I mentioned before.. we will be prepared next visit! Pics of the meat market.. Nasty.
We met the Cooks at the market. They were busily buying goodie bag items for the big birthday bash today. So cute. She was having a hard time thinking of things that boys like. I am so much more comfortable with boy things than girl things so we stayed to help. I so wanted to buy Ethan the legos that had the box in Russian, but I decided that the box was the only part in Russian and maybe it wasn’t worth it!
This place and its randomness is just so fun and interesting. There was an empty booth with a cat sitting on a pillow and a sign. Yana explained to the Cooks that the cat was there begging for money because the vendor who worked at that spot was on maternity leave. Sure enough there was a little plate with money sitting on it. That cat sat on that silly pillow all day long! Random.
After the market we headed with ‘the slow’ driver to the orphanage to pick up Vika for the birthday party. We call him the slow driver because we swear he drives a different way to the orphanage every dang time and he never breaks 40 mph. He’s crazy, yes, but the slow one. On the contrast; Cooks driver picked them up after our driver and they were at the orphanage at least 10 minutes before we were! Their driver has earned the title of ‘the fast’ one. It adds a bit of terror to the ride, but what’s a drive without a little terror, right?! I finally was able to snap a few pictures of some landmarks of our drive to Matveevka. These are the signs I get excited to see..
Vika was so darling today. She got all made up and pretty for the big outing. It is the first time we have seen her wear makeup or get gussied up. So adorable. Spencer melted, of course. She was wearing all of her new jewelry she picked out on our last adventure. We made an obvious mistake from the start when we first saw Vika. There was a change in the order of events and we asked her if she wanted to go shopping first with the other family. She said, no. Great. Now what do we do for that hour?! She then informed us that she didn’t want to go bowling. Great. That’s what the birthday party is. Oh well, that was the plan and last time we just winged it and tried to accommodate her requests rather than having a plan we ended up with nothing really to do. We stuck to the plan. We headed to the bowling alley/bar to play ourselves before the others arrived from shopping.
We learned today about a fun personality trait she has, stubbornness! She is so shy and gets so embarrassed. She didn’t want to do anything but sit there. I got pretty frustrated with our interpreter for not allowing us to be parents and protecting her from us and shielding and giving her a way out of being with us. So, we just sat. Waiting. I swear the longest hour of the trip. When the Cooks arrived I tried to tell Vika that she could choose air hockey with one of us, or bowling, but she had to try one. Again, the interpreter intervened. I held her hand and got her shoes to bowl with us. All of the kids were begging her to play, but in the end she wanted to just sit. So she did. With the interpreter distracted Spen managed to get her over playing air hockey. It was so much more fun when we could just play rather than sit and awkwardly watch everyone. She just lights up when she plays with her friends. We will remedy the interpreter situation today. :)
The next stop on the birthday party agenda was McDonald’s for dinner. I swear if any of you out there want to invest in a McDonald’s franchise – Zaparozhia, Ukraine is your golden ticket! There is only one in this city. It is a 30 minute drive for some people to get here and by golly they come! There are never empty tables. There is never a time when the line doesn’t stretch to the door. It’s a madhouse. Worse for us Americans is the jocky dance you have to do to actually get a table. You literally have to find someone who looks almost done and stand at their table until they get up. You have to sit down before they even have a chance to put their coats on to reserve your spot. Not my idea of fun. I'm not at all confrontational in that way. Add to that I don’t really even like McDonalds and it really doesn’t feel worth it! For Nikita though, it’s worth it! We gave him a soccer ball. Vika was again embarrassed that we made her be the one to actually hand it to him, but it was the gift of all gifts for this sweet little boy! He just lit right up and crowded McDonalds dining area or not, he was determined to play with that thing immediately! I loved it. After dinner we took Vika back to the orphanage or Internat as they call it. It was so cute to me how as they were all walking in I was the last one and she waited to walk with me. Little things feel so huge here. She’s such a sweet girl. The days are just so emotionally exhausting I can’t even describe it. Tomorrow will be an orphanage day. We are hoping to take her out again on Saturday. No news as far as our court date goes.
3 comments:
Love the posts. You are so great at this. :) The cat made me laugh. Makes me wonder how it knows to stay there the whole time.
That little Nikita sounds like quite the character. He's going to be such a fun part of the Cook family.
The stubbornness is normal. Don't think you are doing something wrong or there is something wrong with her. These kids are orphans, and certain behaviors or character traits are often dismissed by translators, facilitators, etc. as being simply being an orphan. While that it true to an extent, during an adoption, your facilitator/interpreter should be doing everything they can to foster the relationship along and should be encouraging Vika to be close to you and participate. If you feel like that is not happening, or worse, they are 'hijacking' your relationship with her, get things changed. Vika is yours, and you hers, and they need to put traditional 'orphan' thinking aside and treat this like the real parent deal. Things will and do change for the better once you get home. A lot of that stubbornness will melt away once she's out of that environment and sees that she can use her words to express herself (something orphans can't generally so). You are in her comfort zone, and just like your last post said, the best thing that will ever happen is to get her home where you can all start to be a real family. Meanwhile, hang in there and know that we're all praying for your success.
Oh my gosh! I am laughing out loud about that cat on the pillow!!
It must be a bit more rural there than where we were? We didn't have the choice experience of the meat market. Bleck. I would have been sick too.
Good for you for taking control of the interpreter situation. Others have had the same problems and have fired interpreters in the past.
Thanks for the laugh today! Hope you get a court date soon!
One day Vika will look back on these pictures and be mortified that she is wearing the same shirt in all of them:) I echo everyone else about the interpreter. That bugs. You are so nice to have been patient for this long. Meat market is disgusting, cat is so funny. As for the stubbornness, definitely an orphan trait. Our older boy was SOOOO stubborn when we hosted-I think that's the only way they know how to be expressive. I'm not even sure they recognize what they are feeling half the time. You are also wise to take the pictures of her Ukraine life that you are. Someday she will want or need to look. It might be many years from now, but she will be glad for it. It's all a cycle. It's hard to leave, then you hate it and resent it and are angry. Then, finally one day you face it and become able to deal with it. You guys are great. You are doing a great job blogging all of this. Thanks for taking the time to do it. I hope you get a court date soon. Prayers! steph
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