Court in Ukraine ~ Day 15

Today was the big day. Court. Holy crap I can’t even tell you the anxiety and nerves I had today. Spencer copes much better than I do and he was freaking out too.


We were told to be ready early so we got right up and got dressed in our best. We were ready and waiting about an hour before they arrived. True to form our plans were changed around us and rather than knowing what to expect for the day we ended up having no idea what was next. Rather than meeting Vika and the director at the orphanage to take them to court we ended up meeting them at court. We were worried about what was going to be said to Vika since nobody had talked to her about court or about anything for that matter. We tried to yesterday after receiving that phone call that we had less than 24 hours until our court, but we don’t really know how to prep her for something we need prepping for ourselves!

Also, the director of the orphanage couldn’t make it so one of her assistants was there representing the orphanage and Vika’s best interests in court. If you don’t know this about me I have a very difficult time with change. I have a hard time when I think I understand what is going on around me and then the plan changes and I have no control over anything, but the people that are affected by everything the most is in fact us! Not a huge deal, just added stress.

Did I mention I was a wreck? The questions we were told to be ready for I was not. We were told just before the judge entered that at the end of the hearing we each had to stand and make our formal request of the court including 5 points. Perfect. Can we use note cards?

They ushered us into the court room and we sat awaiting the rest of the people. It was a strange thing looking back. I should have realized that it really was just a formality, like Ezra’s court at home. I didn’t need to be so nervous and scared. The questions he was asking me were all questions I would have answers for. I think just the setting and the prepping were too much for me.  The Judges stand is pictured below.

It was interesting that next to us in the court room was a large cage with a bench inside.  Thankfully they didn't make us sit in there!

We finally were to arise for the judge and his advisors / jury to enter. In the court room was our judge, Victor, the advisors / jury, the prosecutor, the inspector – representing the SDA, the court recorder, the orphanage director’s assistant, Vika, us, and Yana – our interpreter. As they read our petition I tried to calm down and I think we both actually kind of did. Vika was a rockstar. She said she was a little nervous and I held her arm and could feel her pulse racing at times, but she was fine.

He called each of us up to his desk to review our passports and have us state our names and addresses. He thought it was pretty funny to ask us after that if we lived together. Ha ha ha.. We said our “yeses” and “no’s” when we were supposed to then he started by calling Spencer up to the podium. He was nervous but held his composure. The judge told him not to touch the microphone. It’s expensive he explained! He proceeded to ask Spencer his intentions with Vika. Why do you want to adopt her? How did you meet her? Why her? How will you provide for her? What is your monthly income? How much money do you need for groceries? Can you afford to feed another child? He was also very interested to know about our house. Spencer had to give him a room by room description of our house. He added a description of our yard and mentioned that we have a garden. The judge just held on that one. He was very interested in what we grow. He asked if we grew potatoes. Spen told him that we had tried to one year but were unsuccessful. He then was curious if we have the potato beetle in our state. Not something we knew. Spen did very well. The judge kind of fixated on our home. How could we own our own home, he asked? Surly it was our parent’s money or a family home. We were much too young to have our own home. He actually seemed pretty impressed that we did. He excused Spen.

That meant it was my turn. I had a fistful of tissues ready because I cry so dang easily. I get teary when I get overwhelmed. I cried just approaching the stand. He asked me why we wanted to adopt a child from the Ukraine. I was glad that we both had different enough questions that I had answers for. He was very interested that we had adopted a child from America. He didn’t think that was possible. He was interested if there were orphanages in America. After explaining to him that I no longer could have children of my own and we had always wanted a large family he asked me how we met Vika and why we wanted to adopt her. I had to take a minute to find my voice. It was filled with that crying and not able to talk moment! Vika and Spen were sitting behind me laughing at me. I was literally trembling. I was shaking so terrible I am surprised that the entire stand wasn’t rumbling. I finally got my words. The judge kept telling me to calm down. They seemed to find it amusing that this American woman stood before them crying. I explained that we had briefly met but mostly just seen Vika when she was in America for the hosting program. We felt strongly that she should be part of our family, so we came to Ukraine to ask her if that was something she would like to do. He asked me about my work. He was interested and confused by my job. How can I only work for 3 months of the year? Why do people need help with taxes? What kind of people do I help? He also was interested in Mason. He asked what our government pays me to take care of him. I explained that the government helps us with his education and with his medical bills. He kept asking me what my pension was to take care of such a child. No pension. He asked if our children were OK with adopting. He asked if I could cook Ukrainian food. How will I maintain her culture? How will I manage with such a barrier as language? How will we communicate? What are our plans for her education? She is very behind.. What will we plan to do about this? He was very clear that the responsibility will be on me for most of this. The husband makes the money, and the woman will take care of the children. I was finally excused.

They called the orphanage representative. He asked her questions about Vika in school, whether or not they supported this adoption. Was this in the child’s best interest? Do they believe we are a suitable match? Does she have any other family? Does she have visitors? I’m sure there were more.. I was recovering still and don’t remember.

She called the Inspector for the SDA. They asked her similar questions. She made more of a statement that she had witnessed our meeting and saw how nervous the mama (I) was at the first meeting. She knew we were good people and that Vika had taken time to meet us before making a decision. She was there with the director when Vika had signed by her own hand the letter requesting for us to adopt her. She agrees with the decision for us to adopt her. A few questions were added and she was excused.

The prosecutor had nothing further to ask or to add.

Then the judge turned to Victoria and had her stand. He wasn’t hard on her I would say, but he was very thorough with her. He asked her if she knew us. Do you want them to adopt you? Do you understand that after this you will then call this man ‘papa’ and this woman ‘mama’? Is this what you want? Do you understand you will have younger brothers in America? Is this what you want? Has anyone persuaded you to answer that you want them to adopt you? Do you want to be a part of this family? Do you understand you are leaving your home to go to America? Do you understand it will be difficult to learn the language to communicate with your new family? Is this what you want to do? Do you have any family here in Ukraine? “Da.”

Pause court proceedings…

The judge re-asked her, Do you have family here? “Da, 2 brothers.” Do you see them? ‘da.’ Do they visit you? ‘da, every week.’ What are their ages? ’28, and 21.’

Pause court proceedings…

Thank heavens for the Inspector. She interjected that her brothers are very supportive of this adoption. She was aware of the brothers and that he came to meet with the new parents. That we have established a relationship with him and he encourages Vika to go with this family.

Is this true? (to Vika) “da.” Phew… then we could all breathe again. There was a bit of a side discussion with one of his advisors. He then spoke loudly enough for us to hear him and said that the brothers are too old to have any bearing on this court’s decision and they give their blessing anyway.

He asked her a few more questions about her education and why she is 16 and in the 6th grade. She didn’t know. He asked her if she would like to change her name to Victoria Anne Shaw (they all giggled at the name by the way) and she said, ‘da.’

He then said that after hearing all of the evidence in this court he would like to ask us as adoptive parents if we would like to change our petition for adoption of this child. No we would not like to change it. He then asked Spencer to arise. What do you ask of this court? Now was our formal request we were just told about.. We ask the court to allow us to adopt Davidenko, Victoria from Ukraine and take her with us to America to be a part of our family. We request that her name be changed on her birth certificate to Shaw, Victoria Anne. We ask that her birth certificate to be changed showing Spencer as her father, and Kerry as her mother. We ask that her birth city and country remain the same on her birth certificate. We ask that the court will be obliged to allow us to obtain the necessary visas and passports to take her out of Ukraine. Then I had to stand and request the same things.

After that he excused himself for a recess to prepare the court’s decision. We waited in the court room. I was then made fun of by everyone for my nerves. I could finally breathe. I took the opportunity to take some pictures… No idea if that was allowed, but nobody minded. I asked if they thought it would be OK. They said they didn’t see why not. Vika was embarrassed by my obsession to take pictures. Man, I hope she gets used to that fast!  I had to post the first one because she smiled.  The next picture you can tell we are at court though.

The inspector was so sweet and so nice.  I had to have a picture with her.  Shw saved the day with her interjection about Vika's brother.  Her name is Paulina.

As I mentioned earlier, Luba came in during our break.  We were playing games on my Ipod touch.  This picture has Spen, Vika, and Luba playing or watching the Ipod and the woman watching from the side is the representative from the orphanage.  She was camera shy.

Spencer, Vika, and Luba..

I have to say my best idea ever was to send a camera with her to take pictures of her friends. She did a great job. She is gorgeous if you haven’t noticed. They did their hair and make-up and took modeling pictures of themselves. I left the camera with her in hopes of getting more. I’m thinking that I’ll send my video camera with her tomorrow to actually get some video of the place!

When the judge came back he read the court’s decision and congratulated us that in 10 days from these proceedings we would be parents! Then we were dismissed.

Phew.

Luba came during the break and we had to leave with her to run around getting paperwork signed and notarized. I’m not sure if I have explained that notaries are much different here. They are a pretty prestigious profession. They are more of a person that prepares legal documents than a person that stamps and watches you sign the documents. Of course all of the signatures are kept track of in a very secure notebook. Love how it’s all documented by hand here.

It was a long day and Vika wouldn’t eat anything for lunch. She said she was tired. I was too. Court lasted for 2 hours and we ran around for close to another 2 hours. When we finally came back to the orphanage we were escorted to the director’s office to thank her and to make our ‘donation.’ Apparently we are pretty cheap. Our facilitator didn’t say so in so many words, but when we told her what we had ‘donated’ it was on the lower end of what was expected. The director was very gracious and very nice. She indicated that she would be sure to show us and let us know what she spent our money on. At that point we didn’t really need to see what she was spending it on. I actually trust her very much to use it for the benefit of the orphanage and the children.

We could have stayed a while, but Vika really seemed like she wanted to just gab and tell all of her friends about her big day. That felt more appropriate than making her play cards with us! We told her we would be back tomorrow and that Saturday we would take her to the carnival she wanted to go to and celebrate.

What an emotionally exhausting day. I can’t even describe what a relief it is to have this day over with! We are really hoping to have a chance to spend some time with Vika’s brother before Spencer leaves at least once more. We’re getting closer though!  But for now Vika stands as the 101^st child adopted as a result of the Save-A-Child program!  What an amazing thing.